13 Things Guys Want In A Relationship – If you feel like you need a crystal ball to interpret what a man wants, you’re not alone. While women often get lumped with the ‘complicated’ tag due to self-expression, men can appear blissfully simple, in the emotions game. The reality is, it’s probably because your guy is reluctant to talk about his needs in an open setting.
It could stem from social conditioning, difficulty with communicating intimate feelings or the sheer fear of showing anyone his true self. This leads to miscommunication, arguments and those, “not tonight, I’ve got a headache” moments we all know and love. Contrary to popular opinion, what he wants you to do isn’t just about sex. Here’s 10 things men want from you, but which they’ll very rarely ask for.
1. The Room To Chase.
The ‘thrill of the chase’ isn’t something only men love to experience. We all get a kick out of striving hard to get the best out of life. However, sometimes during dating, women unconsciously block guys from enjoying the chase. If you’re always the one initiating further dates and texting him, you’re not actually allowing space for him to feel the urge to pursue you.
This isn’t about playing games. It’s about him knowing he’s consciously choosing you and not being pushed into anything.
Change your mindset to one of allowing the situation to flow and keep living your best life while dating. Respond to his efforts to move forward, put effort in from your end too, but don’t force things. If he’s into you, it will find its own way.
While everyone deserves respect, men and women tend to feel differently about what it means. Think about those conversations where you’re venting about your day at work. Your guy inevitably jumps in to offer solutions. Innately, he’s a problem solver. You, on the other hand, may not need him to fix your problems, you just want to talk about them.
When you tell him you don’t need his help, it can feel like disrespect, even though that’s the last thing you mean. Men often feel respect as love and if you disapprove of him, what he does, how he dresses or why he responds in such a way, he’ll have a hard time trusting you with his emotions. Accept him as he his, along with the differences in male/female communication and he’ll bask in the light of your respect.
3. Acceptance Of His Help.
You are, without a doubt, independent, confident and entirely capable of looking after yourself. However, that has absolutely nothing to do with allowing your man to help you. We all love to feel needed and this is a way he can show his love through action, rather than emotion.
It’s not about being a damsel in distress. Men love strong women who know how to navigate challenges, whether it be an emotional upset or changing a tyre. But, when he offers to carry your bags (even though they’re not heavy), he’s expressing the desire to make you happy, to make life easier for you, to feel useful to you. In the old-fashioned sense, this is called chivalry. Enjoy it and let him.
The concept of a ‘man cave’ isn’t fictional. Traditionally, women tend to flock to each other for socialising, talking about problems and having fun, while men like solitary time to do their own thing. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be with you.
The same goes for spending time with his mates. It’s about his mates – not the woman in his life. If you’ve experienced this in reverse, whereby a man doesn’t want to let you out of his sight, you’ll know how it feels to be suffocated. It’s basically one of the fastest ways to end a relationship, no matter if it’s you or him putting the paper bag over it.
After all, a relationship isn’t a merger of two people into one. It’s an invitation to go on a journey together, as separate individuals who both require space along the way.
5. Compliments and Appreciation.
A man is probably never going to ask you to compliment him more, for fear of sounding like he needs his ego stroked. It’s much more likely that he’s complimenting you all the time, whether it’s because you look pretty, say something funny or kick a goal at work.
But, he needs reassurance too and there’s nothing wrong with a little ego-stroking. In fact, compliments help boost his confidence and, when they’re coming from you, it’ll help him feel loved. As an added bonus, the more you tell him what you think is great about him, the more you’ll see those attributes.
6. Sexual Variety.
It’s impossible to talk about what men want women to do without delving into sex. Sexy lingerie, different positions, a hot make-out session in public or anything new, really, will drive him wild. He won’t want to ask for it, but he will want it, and it’s also one of the best ways to create intimacy and keep the all-important fire alive.
7. Initiate On Him.
How would you feel if you always initiated contact with a man, whether it be texts, phone calls, kissing or sex? Men have a fear of rejection too, even in long term relationships. For the most part, there’s nothing wrong with this, but for your man, it’s nice to have the pressure of doing so taken off occasionally.
Plus, it’s sexy as hell to be in the presence of a woman confident enough to do so.
8. Keep Your Spontaneity And Passion.
There’s nothing more attractive than a person who’s spontaneous, free and willing to be herself. A guy loves it when you have your own opinions, express what you like and don’t like and make risky choices that bring you happiness.
He also loves to be curious about you, to be surprised by your spontaneous actions and feel challenged by what’s in your mind. This kind of attitude means you’re comfortable with yourself, have your own life and trust him enough to show it to him. He wants to admire you, so don’t hide your passions, fears or love of singing in the shower. If he doesn’t get a kick out of the real you, he’s not the right one anyway.
9. Trust Him Completely.
It’s a weird contradiction, but if your man feels like you don’t trust him, he’ll have a hard time trusting you.
It’s empowering to feel trusted. It’s an acknowledgment that you think he’s a great guy. Jumping to negative conclusions, being paranoid or consistently doubting his intentions, on the other hand, is offensive to someone trying to earn your trust. He might just withdraw emotionally, because he can’t trust you to believe in him.
10. Be His Buddy.
Being your guy’s buddy doesn’t mean you have to go to the footy, slurp down a meat pie and have burping comps (though a lot of guys would love it if you joined in occasionally). It means being on his side and accepting him as he is, just like a true friend would.
Too often, even at the very beginning of relationships, it’s easy to fall into the trap of liking most things about a new lover, while thinking you’ll just change the things you don’t. You won’t. Worse still, you’ll make him feel like you’re not in his corner, that there’s something wrong with him and that he can’t act like himself around you. And a true friend would never do that.
11. Men want playfulness in a relationship
Play is one of the things that will cause men to desire you on a deeper level. One fact of life is that men love to stay active and to play. This is due to the fact that they are raised in a manner that enables them to express themselves and to connect with the people around them through action. The unfortunate thing is that many women will not remember this and their only way is to talk to the men to win their hearts. However, the truth of the matter is that men will not feel you for who you are. In order to connect with them, you need to watch games and play some sports together. Ensure that you add a bit of sarcasm and teasing in the game. This will go a long way in increasing the man’s interest and attraction to you.
12. An independent woman is something that men want in a relationship
A common misconception that women have about men is that they are searching for weaker women who will leave them feeling more powerful and smarter. This is not true. Men are searching for women who inspire them. Great men are not intimated by success and independence. The most important thing for the man is a woman who will have space for her own things. A good way of sending this message to a man is by keeping yourself busy with your life. You don’t have to behave as if your entire life revolves around him. Avoid dropping your responsibilities, interests and friends to spend time with the man. If you happen to be with the man, be sure that both of you are having fun and give him get the desired attention. This will go a long way in making him to love you more and commit to the relationship
13. Emotional maturity is something that men want in a relationship
At one time in a relationship, there will be a situation that will occur when the two of you see something differently, resulting in a misunderstanding. When a woman is mature in a way that she doesn’t criticize or blame the man for what she is feeling but is sharing her feelings in an authentic and honest way, this enables the man to understand her well and gets attracted to her. One of the key things that men observe in a relationship is how the woman is able to handle her emotions. If you are the kind who is unable to control your emotions, the man will be afraid to commit to you. If you can manage to present your feelings in a calm and non-dramatic way, this will cause men to respect you and they will be left feeling that you are the kind of woman they are searching for. This is because you will show that you have the ability to handle things smoothly. This will cause the man you desire to choose you as his girlfriend.